Can Both Be Okay?
In session, a young mother shared something that I think so many mothers quietly struggle with, myself included.
“My heart wants to be in two places at once.”
She described the sweetness of rolling Play-Doh again and again, reading the same picture book for the tenth time, holding her baby as he drinks his bottle and looks into her eyes, without a care in the world.
A part of her loves being there. Feels most at home in those moments.
But another part is racing.
It’s almost 4 PM. The other kids will be home soon. There’s so much to do. What have I accomplished today?
And when she finally gets up to do those things, the guilt follows. Now she’s wishing she were back with her children.
When she’s with them, she’s thinking about everything else. When she’s doing everything else, she’s wishing she were with them.
Can both be okay?
Can we love the slow, repetitive, beautiful experience of motherhood and still crave productivity, purpose, and the satisfaction of checking things off a list?
What if neither needs to cancel out the other?
What if we practiced giving ourselves permission to be fully where we are?
Ten minutes of undivided attention. No phone, no checklist, just being. And then permission to turn toward something else, without guilt.
Our children benefit from our presence. They also benefit when we return to them feeling replenished and fulfilled.
Maybe the goal isn’t to choose between being a present mother and a fulfilled person.
Maybe it’s learning to be where we are, without constantly wishing we were somewhere else.
A little less guilt in the doing. A little more presence in the being.
And permission for both.
Warmly,
Shira
