As I journey through life as a wife and mother, I also have the privilege of stepping into my clients’ worlds.
I hold their joy and their frustration. Their calm and their overwhelm. Together, we’re all learning how to ride these waves.
I wanted to share a few practical, hands-on — and most importantly, simple — tools that have helped me, and the people I work with, regulate in real time.
We’ll start with what I call the 90-second reset: what to do when you’re about to snap.
Because whether you’re a spouse, a parent, or simply a human existing in this fast-paced, ever-changing, ever-demanding world, triggers are everywhere — the morning rush, traffic when we’re already late, a toddler’s meltdown, and so much more.
Here’s the pause:
Place one hand on your chest and one on your abdomen.
Take a slow breath in through your nose, then a longer breath out through your mouth.
Let your shoulders soften and drop.
This brief pause allows the stress hormones to settle. You’re not ignoring the problem — you’re creating just enough space to respond instead of react.
And each time you practice this, your nervous system learns to trust the pause. Over time, the pause becomes a part of you.
Next month we’ll talk about how to ground without meditating.
With warmth,
Shira Aminov, LCSW
